


Baigan and Eggs

by rachaellikestoread



Category: Final Fantasy IV
Genre: Anal Fisting, Anal Sex, Impractical Lube, Improbable Sex Acts, Light Spanking, M/M, Open Relationships, Rimming, Spanking, Valentine's Day, Very Light Spanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-15
Updated: 2015-02-15
Packaged: 2018-03-12 22:59:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3358469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rachaellikestoread/pseuds/rachaellikestoread
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Valentine's Day is stupid, but Cecil in lingerie is never a problem.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Baigan and Eggs

Christmas was bad enough, Baigan thought as he watched his men decorate the castle halls with pink and white streamers and red hearts. But this was ridiculous. Did the old geezer really have nothing better to do than put on parties?

_That stupid turtle's messing with me_ , he realized. _Just because he's one of Lord Golbez's Archfiends, he thinks he can get away with ordering me to waste my time on such trivial, frivolous--_

"Hey, sunshine! Catch!"

Baigan barely managed to catch the heavy parcel that almost hit him in the face. "Bloody hell, Harvey! What are you playing at now?"

"It's Valentine's Day, sir," Cecil said, as if that meant anything to Baigan. "You give a gift to your sweetheart. So, happy Valentine's Day!"

Baigan grumbled, but didn't bother correcting the young man--he and Cecil were _sort of_ "sweethearts," after all, although that particular choice of words made Baigan want to shatter the fourth wall. Everyone knew it, more or less. Just not officially.

Still, Baigan was curious as to what was inside, so he slowly unwrapped the package. Inside was a black disc and some sort of control panel. "...What is this?"

"It's an LED car sign, Captain," Cecil answered cheerfully. "You put it in your rear window and you can show other drivers how you're feeling."

"Hmmm..." Baigan looked over at the card that listed the possibilities. He liked some of them, and wondered if he could tinker with the "back off" option so that it would say "fuck off" instead. "Not bad. Almost worth a promotion, but not quite."

Just then, a blushing redhead of a knight jogged up to Baigan and thrust a wooden container into his hands. "Captain Baigan! I've admired you ever since you gave me a raise three months ago. Please accept this tie as a symbol of my affection."

Baigan opened the box. It was a Tetris tie. Differently-colored and differently-shaped blocks fit together at the bottom, with a dark blue L-shape about to join its brethren (although personally, Baigan couldn't see any way for it to neatly fit with the rest). It even included a score and level at the top.

Baigan never played Tetris, and the tie clashed with his own personal aesthetic, but it never hurt to mess with Cecil a little bit. He looked up from his gift and smiled at the redhead. "Clyde, wasn't it?"

"Y-yes, sir," Clyde stammered, clearly delighted that Baigan remembered his name.

"Clyde, congratulations." Baigan gave him a friendly smile and patted him on the shoulder. "From now on, you are a Pegasus Knight of the First Order. No pay raise this time, but you'll have vision and dental coverage." It was all bullshit, of course, but Baigan had enough power to keep the lie going.

Cecil glared at Baigan, his lips compressed in a tight line. He waited until Clyde was gone before blurting out, "You asshole! I don't even have vision coverage!"

Baigan stared at Cecil with a mildly disapproving look. "Are you saying you are more entitled to vision care than the other men who serve the Kingdom of Baron? I'm truly disappointed, Cecil." He took great pleasure in seeing his young lover sputter with indignation, and added, "You can have vision coverage when you need it. As far as I can tell, you've got 20/20 vision."

"Hey, come on." Kain held out a roll of streamers. "Save the lovers' spats for later. You should be helping out with the decorating."

***

Later that night, Cecil came to Baigan's house wearing pink lingerie.

"What is this?" Baigan demanded. "Don't tell me that's Princess Toothache's underwear."

"Princess what?" Cecil looked puzzled for a moment; then, he laughed. "Rosa, you mean?"

"Yes," grumbled Baigan as he took off his armor and clothes. "Just looking at her gives me cavities."

"And no, these aren't Rosa's," Cecil said. "Rosa's underwear wouldn't fit me. I bought these at the local sundries store."

_Like hell you did_ , Baigan thought. "Why do you like dressing up so much, anyway? What's the point?"

"It's exciting." Cecil spun in a circle, slowly, looking coyly over his shoulder when his back faced Baigan. "It makes me feel sexy. Gets me in the mood." He put his arms around Baigan's shoulders and kissed him.

"Don't tell me you walked all the way across town dressed like that," Baigan hissed when they broke apart.

"Of course not. It's way too cold for that. But I did shed my outerwear as soon as I came to the castle." Cecil moaned softly as Baigan began to kiss his throat. "And I suppose you'll have me--mmm, yes, keep doing that--shed my underwear now?"

Being the jackass--if not particularly memorable villain--he was, Baigan stopped exactly what Cecil wanted him to keep doing and pushed Cecil down onto the bed. "No, keep them on. I remember what you said last time about flavor." He fingered the fishnet tank that left none of Cecil's hardened upper body to the imagination, including those already-erect nipples. "I didn't even know they sold lingerie for men."

Cecil grinned up at him. "Would it kill your excitement if I told you that Rosa made them for me?"

Baigan sighed. "No, it wouldn't. If anything, I'm impressed with her needlework. Did she make the bottoms, too?" He prodded Cecil's thigh. "Turn around. I want to see how your ass looks in those lace."

"So hasty." But Cecil obeyed and turned over. 

Cecil's ass was amazing, a gift from the gods--his glorious cheeks were as beautiful and full as the two moons in the sky. If Cecil's cock weren't so delicious, Baigan would gladly spend every night worshipping this perfect ass.

The soft, pink lace only added to Cecil's ass's erotic charm. The garment fit him perfectly, the pale pink contrasting nicely with the ruddy hue of his skin. The waistband was low enough to show off Cecil's crack, which attracted Baigan's attention in a way it never had before.

"Very nice," Baigan murmured as he cupped and squeezed Cecil's behind. He gave it a very light tap with the palm of his hand. "I suppose I should thank Rosa for giftwrapping this treasure box. I don't want to take it off."

Cecil looked over his shoulder and winked. "Then don't. Go on, have a feast. I know you're hungry."

God, he said the stupidest things sometimes. But he was right about one thing--Baigan had wanted to eat this ass (in the sexy way, not the om-nom-nom-nom way) for...well, for about forty seconds. But it had seemed much longer.

_Enough of this_ , Baigan thought, and he grabbed Cecil's ass and buried his face between those cheeks.

" _Ah_!" Cecil let out a pleasured cry that made Baigan's entire lower body ache with arousal. He pushed his ass back against Baigan's mouth, prompting Baigan to kiss Cecil's twitching bud through the fabric.

Human asses were almost as delicious as human cocks. They were so soft and round and fun to squeeze, to kiss and lick and bite. It was as though humans came with built-in stress balls.

Baigan kissed Cecil's asshole again, then began to slowly massage Cecil's cheeks. Cecil's backside was firm, with just enough padding to give if that softness that Baigan liked. He could feel Cecil's muscles tense and relax beneath his hands. 

"Does Rosa like this ass, too?" Baigan asked.

"She loves it," Cecil informed him. "And why shouldn't she? Everyone knows I've got the hottest butt in the knighthood."

"A true bubble butt," Baigan agreed. He pressed his thumbs to Cecil's taint, moving them in small circles, searching for a point that would make his lover collapse into a pile of gelatin.

"My asshole," Cecil gasped as his thighs parted. "Lick my asshole. Please."

"Are you sure? I wanted to tease you some more." Baigan hooked his fingers into the waistband of Cecil's panties and pulled them down just enough to expose his twitching anus. His hands continued their massage as he lightly flicked his tongue against the tiny hole.

"Yes, yes, please, just like that, please, Baigan..." Cecil babbled, thrusting his hips against Baigan's hands. 

"Stop that," Baigan commanded, and lightly swatted him. "If you beg me, I'm only going to want to tease you some more. If you want me to lick your butthole until you come, then shut up and let me get to work."

He pressed his lips against Cecil's anus again, this time making an obvious, exaggerated kissing sound. Then, he softly traced the rim with the tip of his tongue, taking great care not to push it inside. He repeated this action a few more times, then ran his tongue in a path from Cecil's anus to his balls before carefully moving one of his hands to fondle them lightly.

"Oooh..." A whimper escaped Cecil, encouraging Baigan to continue his TLC. (That's "Tender Loving Care," not "The Learning Channel." Man, that channel has really gone downhill over the past ten years.) He pressed the flat of his tongue against Cecil's asshole and repeated his path around the rim, using his lips to form a seal and create a sucking sensation.

"Baigan," Cecil panted, "I want you...to put your tongue inside."

Baigan pulled his mouth away. "Wait, really? I thought you weren't into that."

"What, I can't change my mind?" 

"You can. I just wanted to check." Baigan began to slowly lick up and down Cecil's taint, then around the rim of his asshole. "Let's see if we can get you loosened up."

Oh, God! He had wanted to stick his tongue inside that sweet, tantalizing asshole ever since he first saw it. No, even before then--from the very moment he'd first laid eyes on Cecil's pretty-boy face. He'd jerked off night after night, imagining Cecil wriggling helplessly beneath him as his tongue probed his insides. And his tongue was so much longer than a human's. If he wanted to, he could thread his tongue all the way through Cecil's entire digestive tract and still have some left over, but that was weird and might actually kill the human, so he didn't do it.

Cecil's body was gradually opening up to Baigan's careful caresses, and his voice was rising in pitch and volume. His lean thighs were obscenely spread; his cries were occasionally muffled by the pillow or the mattress.

Finally, his muscles were relaxed enough for Baigan to push the tip of his tongue inside. Instantly, he felt Cecil's body tighten around his tongue, resisting the intruder. It was only a reflex, as Cecil was begging Baigan to go deeper, but the untrained anus was going to make things difficult.

Baigan wasn't a quitter, however. No, he'd make this brat come out the ears, and the four archfiends themselves wouldn't be able to stop him. He pushed his tongue deeper into Cecil's asshole, then withdrew it, then pushed it in again. Before long, he was tongue-fucking Cecil, urged on by his cries and squeals. He moaned against Cecil's pulsing anus and gave his squirming butt a couple more swats.

Finally, he pulled his tongue out completely, taking a sadistic sort of pleasure in the groan of frustration Cecil made. "If you want, I can really make you squeal. I'm pretty sure I can reach your sweet spot with my tongue."

"But...how can..." Cecil looked dazed and a bit irritated with Baigan for stopping. "...Can you...you know...do the...push enough?"

"I can," Baigan said smugly. "But on one condition. You must never ask me how."

"Well, fuck, is that all?" Cecil rolled his eyes. "I don't care how, why, or even who. Just 'what' and 'when,' and the answers are 'my asshole' and 'right now.'"

Baigan resumed his loving activities, and Cecil began to whimper as he started all over again--kissing, tracing, kissing some more, then a final round of licking before he started up the tongue-fucking again. This time, however, he began to lengthen his tongue, just a tiny notch at a time, every time he pushed his tongue back past Cecil's opening.

"Oh...oh, my God! _Oh, my God_!" Cecil's voice was filled with an odd mixture of shock and delight as Baigan began the deep-probing of his insides. "Baigan! Why the--how are you--how can--how is--"

Baigan didn't mind, as Cecil clearly didn't expect him to actually answer. His tongue should be long enough now; he hardened the tip and felt around for Cecil's prostate. Once he located the walnut-sized node, he pressed against it.

Cecil's body jolted, and he made a sound Baigan had never heard before. It was more of a howl than a moan, encouragement laced with ecstasy. Well, Baigan didn't need to be told twice. He rubbed his stiff tongue back and forth against Cecil's P-spot until the younger man arched his back and spent himself on the bed. He lay there for several minutes, too exhausted and sated to move.

Baigan sat back and let Cecil rest for a while, then cleared his throat. "Don't I get a turn?"

Cecil lifted his head with what appeared to be a great deal of effort. "What, you want me to lick your ass? I'll keep my promise and not ask you how you managed to do what you just did, but I can assure you there's no way I'm going to be able to do the same to you."

Baigan dismissed Cecil's concerns with a wave of the hand. "Not a problem. Just use your fist."

"My fist?" Cecil repeated. "Are you sure you can handle that?"

"Trust me, kid, I've taken bigger things than your scrawny hand up my butt. You forget that I'm almost four--" He paused, then finished: "-ty-three."

"Oh, right," Cecil said mildly. "Well, then, lie on the bed and I'll see what I can do. Do you have any lubricant?"

"It's right there on my drawer," grumbled Baigan. "If you had actually used those stupid eyes of yours, you would know this."

"Well, I don't know. Could be cocoa butter or something." Baigan unscrewed the jar's lid and frowned. "Wait, this _is_ cocoa butter. Should you be using this stuff on your ass?"

"I've used worse," Baigan snapped, "and I like the feel of raw cocoa butter inside my ass. Now hurry up and get me off before I get cranky." God, the boy could be so stupid sometimes. "And don't you dare kink-shame me."

"So what do I do?" Cecil asked once he had applied a generous amount of cocoa butter to his hand and arm.

Baigan sighed. "Start with two fingers, loosen my ass up a bit. Then add two more. Then add the next two. Then add your thumb and make a fist and start pounding away." It occurred to Baigan that he'd told Cecil to add six fingers along with his thumb instead of four. Oh, well.

Cecil was very good at doing what he was told. He had nice, long fingers, and had no trouble reaching Baigan's prostate from the beginning. Baigan sighed with contentment--finally, they were starting--and rested his head on the pillow, which smelled just like Cecil now.

_Ahhhh_. Cecil's hand felt amazing inside him, stretching him to the point of pleasurable discomfort. Cecil was a knight, but both his arms and legs were nice and lean, and Baigan's ass was very accommodating; he imagined the boy must be in past the wrist now, maybe halfway to the elbow. He closed his eyes and picture it: his ass high in the air, his anal ring constricting Cecil's arm like one of Baigan's own snake arms constricting its prey. Oh, God, that was a sexy thought. 

"Hey, Baigs?" Cecil groaned. "Can I fuck you now? I know my dick isn't as big as my arm, but--"

"Yeah, yeah, go ahead." Baigan was flying now; it didn't really matter what brought him to orgasm.

So Cecil pushed his cock into Baigan's ready ass and came in record time; when it was over, he pulled out and shoved his entire fist into Baigan's body again.

"Okay, I lied," Baigan admitted. "I much prefer the fisting."

He could actually _feel_ Cecil's spermatozoa swimming their way up his body, and into his oviduct, where his eggs were waiting to be fertilized. Yes, Baigan was finally in heat, or whatever it is that snake-like monsters go into, I don't know, I'm tired of looking shit up.

Baigan came, and when he was done he flopped onto the bed in the exact same position that Cecil had been in post-orgasm. What are the chances of that? 

"Hmm..." Cecil scooped up some of Baigan's seed and tasted it. His face brightened. "Oh, Baigan! It tastes like vanilla this time!"

"Yeah," Baigan mumbled. _Because I'm pregnant, you nitwit_. 

Soon Baigan would give birth to two little snake monsters, a boy and a girl. He would name them Theodore and Annmarie.

Hopefully they would be better villains.

THE END


End file.
